So I'm a 8th grader, as you might have guessed already. I love to learn new things about the world, but I've never been a very big fan of going to school. Sometimes its fun, sure, but it just gets tiring after a while. Doing homework all the time, never having a chance to have fun at home cause it takes most of the time away from your day. Plus the chance that you may get bullied or will never get good grades cause of non-understanding teachers. Or even worse, never having any friends. Sure, you have the friends that you made in elementary school, but lets face it, most of those friendships end over time. I'm a really shy person at heart, and have always had a hard time getting to know other people. So when I entered middle school, I thought that I would be picked on, and never have any friends to help me through the dark moods that I have frequently. It was that way at first, but over time I got to know my classmates, and I made one of the best friends that I'll ever have. She's my BFF and she listens to me rant when I'm angry, she always manages to make me laugh when I've forgotten how to smile, and she reminds me of what i have to live for when I want to die. Sure, we fight sometimes, but doesn't everyone? I have a feeling that we will always be friends, for the rest of our lives.
But anyways, onto the bullying. I've always been afraid of being bullied. Unfortunately, that doesn't help me not be bullied. I've been bullied before, and it sucks. Just being bullied for the smallest reasons can make somebody go into depression. Whether you were bullied for small or big reasons, it still doesn't make school easier. I've gotten bullied for having no fashion sense, for having a weak and permanently sick father, for being short, and for other reasons that I will not mention. It hurts, not just physically but also emotionally. You don't know how to get the bullies to stop. You don't want to tell anyone about it cause you're afraid that the bully and his friends will find you and beat you up. I get it. I never told anyone. And I've been hurt badly because of it. But you know what else hurts because of the bullying? The fact that I couldn't tell anybody. It broke my heart, or it broke it in places that had never been broken before. I couldn't trust anyone, I still can't fully trust anybody. I'm always afraid that they will turn on me and start to torment me.
Well, that's all I have to say right now, I'll try to post another blog soon!
-Abigail
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Songs
I often have many songs in my head at a time. Sometimes I refer to my head as a media player, as I'm usually able to figure out the lyrics to songs that I know by thinking of a part of the lyrics, a song name, or the artist of the song. Sometime I know a song that my mom can't guess off the top of her head, even when shes the one that introduced the song to me.
I also like to write my own songs. I haven't published them or anything, but I've written 2 different songs, both very emotional. Here, you can look at the lyrics if you want to:
Not Alright
by A.L.M
I hadn't always felt alone,
going down that broken road.
I used to be so happy,
and I always was singing.
But then the clouds came,
and fogged up my mind.
(chorus:)
Told my friends that I was alright,
cutting and bleeding out at night.
Faking a smile here and there,
crying out so many tears.
I was not alright.
It was small at first, but then it grew,
depression coming forth anew.
Wondering if anyone would notice,
me feeling very hopeless.
One person relized all this,
but he didn't think it would have a twist.
(chorus)
I couldn't take it anymore,
and I wanted to be done.
So I grabbed my dads gun,
and put it to my head.
Whispered,'goodbye everyone,'
and pulled the trigger and I'm dead.
(chorus 2x)
Friend
by A.L.M
My life has never been the same,
since I found the way.
Out of the darkness,
into the light.
I have found my cure,
for everything wrong.
(chorus:)
The key to the light,
instead of it being in the dark,
its inside something very simple.
The best thing you'll ever have,
that is at your side all the time.
Your best friends.
I had been walking on that dark road,
for the longest time.
I always hoped that somebody would notice,
but no one ever seemed to.
so i grabbed some old rope and
I started to prepare for my death.
(chorus)
The time had come, and
As I stood on my stool,
with the noose around my neck,
someone started to knock on the door.
My friends barged into my bedroom, and
held my hand while they untied the noose.
(chorus 2x)
I've always liked emotional songs. Love songs, depressing songs, most songs that are emotional, chances are that I've listened to them. If I haven't heard of a emotional song, its probably a new song, or a song by an artist that I don't usually listen to.
Well, this is all that I can write for now, I hope that you like my two songs. If you have any suggestions about how I can make them better, please comment. Thanks for reading!
-Abigail
I also like to write my own songs. I haven't published them or anything, but I've written 2 different songs, both very emotional. Here, you can look at the lyrics if you want to:
Not Alright
by A.L.M
I hadn't always felt alone,
going down that broken road.
I used to be so happy,
and I always was singing.
But then the clouds came,
and fogged up my mind.
(chorus:)
Told my friends that I was alright,
cutting and bleeding out at night.
Faking a smile here and there,
crying out so many tears.
I was not alright.
It was small at first, but then it grew,
depression coming forth anew.
Wondering if anyone would notice,
me feeling very hopeless.
One person relized all this,
but he didn't think it would have a twist.
(chorus)
I couldn't take it anymore,
and I wanted to be done.
So I grabbed my dads gun,
and put it to my head.
Whispered,'goodbye everyone,'
and pulled the trigger and I'm dead.
(chorus 2x)
Friend
by A.L.M
My life has never been the same,
since I found the way.
Out of the darkness,
into the light.
I have found my cure,
for everything wrong.
(chorus:)
The key to the light,
instead of it being in the dark,
its inside something very simple.
The best thing you'll ever have,
that is at your side all the time.
Your best friends.
I had been walking on that dark road,
for the longest time.
I always hoped that somebody would notice,
but no one ever seemed to.
so i grabbed some old rope and
I started to prepare for my death.
(chorus)
The time had come, and
As I stood on my stool,
with the noose around my neck,
someone started to knock on the door.
My friends barged into my bedroom, and
held my hand while they untied the noose.
(chorus 2x)
I've always liked emotional songs. Love songs, depressing songs, most songs that are emotional, chances are that I've listened to them. If I haven't heard of a emotional song, its probably a new song, or a song by an artist that I don't usually listen to.
Well, this is all that I can write for now, I hope that you like my two songs. If you have any suggestions about how I can make them better, please comment. Thanks for reading!
-Abigail
St. Louis Life
As I said before, I used to live in Missouri, or more specifically, the small town next to the now news famous Ferguson. The little town that I lived in was called Florissant. Missouri is a state known for it's famous city, St. Louis, which is known for the Arch, otherwise known as The Gateway to the West. I actually lived very close to St. Louis, and for a long time thought that my family lived in St. Louis. Of course, this was when I was little and didn't know the minor town names.
Anyways, I lived in Missouri till I was 10, so I had to fight to survive. When I was around 6, I learned how to hold my fist the correct way so that if I ever got in a fight, I wouldn't break my thumb. I learned the best pressure points to punch somebody at, how to do a upper cut, and all those small fighting moves, so that I would never get beaten up. I learned what to do if somebody tried to kidnap me. When I was 9, my bike got stolen when I had just begun not to use my training wheels. St. Louis was a city of murder and crime, and if you lived there and didn't know anything about the rest of the US, you would often think that its normal to have a lot of crime in a city.
I'm also the smallest and youngest in my family, so I was very prone to threats from my older brother and sister. My brother is much bigger than me, and very strong, so to ensure that I would to do what he wanted me to, he would twist my arm or slap me on the head really hard, but not to much, otherwise Mom and Dad would find out. My sister is much more peaceful then my brother, so she would use little threats and blackmails so that I wouldn't tell on her or so that I would do what she wanted. I was what you would call the runt of the litter, and let me tell you, it isn't fun. Being ignored, and almost always never getting what I want, like an allowance, when my brother and sister did, and still do.
I was home schooled from 1st-4th grade, so I had pretty much no friends except for a kid that lived just down the road. My life was boring, and I had nothing to do except for cleaning my room and reading. With the exception of a few family outings to restaurants, of course. My family had no known relatives in Missouri, so we didn't have anywhere to visit. Once or twice we got to visit Vermont and New Hampshire, where most of our relatives live. We also had a few family friends that we would go visit every now and then. But most of the time I would be doing my chores.
There was also very good food in Missouri. Lots of fast food that was very yummy. Popeye's fried chicken, White Castles, Taco Bell, KFC, Steak and Shake, Arby's, all of these really good fast food chains. Also places where if you ate enough of their food, you would probably get obese or get really sick. The food isn't exactly healthy, but its really good tasting, and very addictive. Here and there you would find the friendly diners that served healthier food. They were mostly family diners, and they loved to get business. My family often went to those diners, cause they always had good food, and were always willing to talk to the customers about politics and what was going on in the city.
Well, thanks for reading this Missouri themed blog, I hope that you learned a little bit about St. Louis, and my life in Florissant. I'll try to post another blog soon!
- Abigail
Anyways, I lived in Missouri till I was 10, so I had to fight to survive. When I was around 6, I learned how to hold my fist the correct way so that if I ever got in a fight, I wouldn't break my thumb. I learned the best pressure points to punch somebody at, how to do a upper cut, and all those small fighting moves, so that I would never get beaten up. I learned what to do if somebody tried to kidnap me. When I was 9, my bike got stolen when I had just begun not to use my training wheels. St. Louis was a city of murder and crime, and if you lived there and didn't know anything about the rest of the US, you would often think that its normal to have a lot of crime in a city.
I'm also the smallest and youngest in my family, so I was very prone to threats from my older brother and sister. My brother is much bigger than me, and very strong, so to ensure that I would to do what he wanted me to, he would twist my arm or slap me on the head really hard, but not to much, otherwise Mom and Dad would find out. My sister is much more peaceful then my brother, so she would use little threats and blackmails so that I wouldn't tell on her or so that I would do what she wanted. I was what you would call the runt of the litter, and let me tell you, it isn't fun. Being ignored, and almost always never getting what I want, like an allowance, when my brother and sister did, and still do.
I was home schooled from 1st-4th grade, so I had pretty much no friends except for a kid that lived just down the road. My life was boring, and I had nothing to do except for cleaning my room and reading. With the exception of a few family outings to restaurants, of course. My family had no known relatives in Missouri, so we didn't have anywhere to visit. Once or twice we got to visit Vermont and New Hampshire, where most of our relatives live. We also had a few family friends that we would go visit every now and then. But most of the time I would be doing my chores.
There was also very good food in Missouri. Lots of fast food that was very yummy. Popeye's fried chicken, White Castles, Taco Bell, KFC, Steak and Shake, Arby's, all of these really good fast food chains. Also places where if you ate enough of their food, you would probably get obese or get really sick. The food isn't exactly healthy, but its really good tasting, and very addictive. Here and there you would find the friendly diners that served healthier food. They were mostly family diners, and they loved to get business. My family often went to those diners, cause they always had good food, and were always willing to talk to the customers about politics and what was going on in the city.
Well, thanks for reading this Missouri themed blog, I hope that you learned a little bit about St. Louis, and my life in Florissant. I'll try to post another blog soon!
- Abigail
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