2/19/16

Well, I really haven't written here for a while now, have I?  I've mostly been busy this year, with school and emotional crap, I haven't had much time to write here on my blog.  But 8th grade this year is awesome, so far.  I like this so much better then 7th grade, probably mostly because I have a better attitude this year, although there have been bumpy parts so far this year.  The cutting has gotten a bit worse.  It got so bad that I now have to go to therapy every week, but I still cut.  Not as much as before therapy, but still a lot.  Just last night I cut up my hand to the point where I couldn't move it around without it hurting.  My boyfriend and my best friend (yes I still have a really bad crush on her but I'm trying to forget about it, although it hurts me greatly), they both know that I cut, but they couldn't do anything about it, although my friend has now threatened to find my blades and take them away.  I really hope that she doesn't find them, its really my only way to relieve myself of my emotional pain.  Therapy helps sometimes of course, being able to spill out my feelings to somebody that will keep them confidential.  But that doesn't always help, and that's when I end up cutting.  I hate cutting myself, but its the only other way, besides drinking, to get rid of my pain.  But I hope that eventually I'll be able to stop cutting.  Until then, we'll see how my situation ends up.